


maybe you're the light

by lemonnie



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Fluff, I'm Bad At Summaries, Lame attempts at humour, Lighthouse Keeper!Neil, M/M, Neil Josten Has A British Accent, Neil is Neil Hatford-Josten in this, No beta we die like riko, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sailor!Andrew, Single Parent Neil Josten, The Lighthouse is a Metaphor, a lotta metaphors, and is about to make it everyone's problem, author has just learnt how to tag, it's all in lowercase, not that it matters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonnie/pseuds/lemonnie
Summary: when andrew decides to take a voyage across the ocean, hoping to find well, andrew doesn't know exactly what he's searching for yet - shit hits the fan quick and andrew's life is flipped upside down.he learns how to live again, how to trust and most of all, how to love.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is meant to be a birthday gift for my lovely best friend g! ilysm, i hope you enjoy this. this is my first work for this fandom, so please be nice <3

if andrew were to retrace each step back from where he began, he'd find himself lost - though he doubted he'd ever been truly found in the first place. time and time and time again, seconds lost and hours gone by - where is he? where is he now? he'd left on a boat, two weeks ago, to god knows where? nicky's forced cheer and his twin's disdain were nothing but scratches in the back of his mind as he set sail with his belongings, the bare minimum. the weather hadn't looked promising - maybe that was the point. if he had any answers, he sure as fuck wouldn't be in the middle of the sea, moving along with the choppy waves.

he didn't believe in the universe sending signs or whatever crap you see in documentaries, detailing journeys like his. the moment kevin had told him of a lighthouse in ireland, he knew that it was an opportunity. life was made of chances and missed opportunities.

when wymack offered him that scholarship, he took his chance and got himself, nicky and aaron, a place in palmetto state university. when he made promises with kevin and aaron, in exchange for them staying - those too were more chances he took. when he was court-ordered to have therapy, there it was, that turning point at which he found himself at another crossroad.

bee always said he'd be able to strive for much greater heights if he'd find his way out of the darkness and oh the irony swallowed him whole. so here he was, travelling to a light. andrew figured that it was likely a metaphorical light he was searching for and smiled grimly at his attempt at humour. he'd never been able to find the coordinates that kevin had given him, on a map online anyways.

he was chasing a pipedream without legs to guide him, nor an image to lead the way.

and with every chance, there's always a bad roll.

it started like this,

first, a drop ;

then, a downpour ;

the wind became a blizzard.

the sky and the ocean blended into one scene from hell. 

the boat he set sail on rocked vigorously, andrew clamped his hands tight onto the railing. at times, he came face to face with the sea as the boat tilted precariously. 

his breath became laboured. his face, clothes, socks, shoes, was drenched in rain or seawater, he couldn't tell anymore. 

one step at a time, the wooden platform creaked as andrew tried to reach the control panel, where he could connect to a nearby signal and call for help. help, huh. andrew put the device close to his mouth and spoke into it.

"hello?"

a crackle.

"this- it's andrew. andrew minyard."

another crackle.

he grit his teeth, "i'm stuck, out at sea and there's a storm. i'm- i'm going to need help."

the dull sound of white noise filled its speaker and was quickly overshadowed by the sound of nearby thunder. lightning flashed soon after, he was in the eye of the storm it seemed. the boat rocked once again and he slipped and fell onto the floor, sliding across the wet varnished wood and hitting his head against the metal of the boat. he felt a warm heat rush down his face.

oh fuck, this wasn't what was supposed to happen.

andrew scrambled for the device that fell out of his hand and he raised his voice, "i left the east coast an hour ago, from south carolina. i think i'm concussed, everything seems dizzy. i'm not going to make it back to the shore anytime. i don't think i'm going to make it back at all."

his breaths came out shallow, he no longer felt cold, instead he felt warm all over. a sign of hypothermia, he remembered aaron telling him. oh god, aaron.

"my brother, aaron- aaron minyard. he must be-"

he cut himself off with a delirious laugh.

no, aaron wasn't looking for him. not with the way he set out explicitly stating he be left alone. not with the way he stared at aaron, as if he were a stranger and told him exactly that. andrew still remembers his own cruel words, ringing in his ears.

\--

_'andrew you can't be serious, what about your job? what about nicky? kevin? what about me andrew, you can't just leave us all behind like that.' aaron held in his shaking fist, a letter written in andrew's familiar scrawl_

_'what about you?' andrew replied in a bored tone. he'd meant to leave the letter before aaron got home from his shift at the hospital._

_aaron looked at andrew, furious, 'we're your family for fucks sake andrew. as much as you hate to admit it, i care about you because you're my brother damn it.'_

_andrew stared down at the key in his hand and tossed it at aaron, who caught it. aaron's face dawned in recognition and opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted._

_'take care of the maserati, it's all yours now. just like you wanted.'_

_andrew began to turn away, ready to leave whatever he had left when aaron's hand reached out for his arm. he caught aaron's wrist in a vice-like grip, 'don't.'_

_'andrew pl-'_

_'i said, don't.'_

_aaron's eyebrows were scrunched together, his voice was a slight whisper, 'stay.'_

_andrew's mind reeled, he doesn't mean that. he forced himself to look away and down at the hardwood floor. you know you're only a shackle for him. it's better if you leave him, before he leaves you eventually. he won't make that decision, i won't make him do it._

_he let go of aaron's wrist and said, 'don't follow me,' and swiftly walked towards the door, leaving the house without turning back. it was for the better._

_the moment he opened the door, there nicky stood, making andrew almost collide with him, head first._

_'woah, hey where are you off to in such a rush?' nicky laughed, surprised to see andrew in a hurry._

_'ireland.'_

_nicky's smile slowly slipped off his face, as he waited for the punchline to arrive._

_'you're joking, right?'_

_andrew responded with nothing but silence and a blank stare._

_'when are you coming back then?' nicky's brow furrowed slightly with worry._

_his fists tightened in response, never, he thought to himself but refused to say it out loud. to say something meant permanence, it meant etching it into history unable to be rewritten. to speak would be a promise, one that he wasn't sure he'd keep._

_nicky sighed, 'i don't suppose there's anything i can say to make you stay. will you take care of yourself? for me, at least.'_

_silence._

_'you've always been strong enough to protect us all, i hope you can find whatever you're searching for.' nicky's grin put on, once again._

_if there was a time nicky wouldn't smile, andrew was sure that it would be the last day on earth. the slight dimple on the corner of his mouth, the engraved laugh lines and the sadness in his eyes - he committed it all to memory. the first person willing to see him as something other than a monster. he'd miss nicky, though he doubt he'd ever be able to say this to him._

_andrew gave a slight nod as a reply, and turned to walk towards where his boat was anchored. he walked a few paces away, enough to hear the, 'don't forget to write to us,' nicky shouted. a small smile made its way upon his face. maybe everything would work out after all._

\--

fate's a funny thing, you see. it just so happens that you find that disgusting sliver of hope and because you're oh so desperate to crawl out of a gutter, you were forced into from the moment you were brought into this miserable hellsack of a world, you latch onto it. fighting tooth and nail to keep ahold of it. but fate, darling fate, fate so tender and kind to those who are 'deserving', fate blows out that very flame of hope - apparently in the shape of a storm.

the sky, the sea and everything in between, wherever it started - andrew couldn't tell. his vision blurred and his consciousness began to fade.

was this really it?

he closed his eyes and let himself breathe in the salt in the air, taste the salt on his tongue and the salt on his cheeks. the ocean crashed against the metal of the boat, making it creak. his firm grip on a groove in the floorboard loosened slowly, any moment now the boat would tip over and he'd slide across again.

well, what now?

there was nobody to hear him. not that there ever was anyone listening in the first place. he'd been born to a world blind to his pleas and raised in homes that tore away everything that made him human. battered, broken and bruised and most of all, alone. he was alone and he would die that way too. perhaps in a kinder timeline, he wouldn't have had to sail across the atlantic.

he snorted, god what he even thinking setting out here. he felt stupid. as if, giving away his house and car wasn't enough, here he was talking about alternate timelines. face it minyard, this is as good as it'll ever get for you. there was never a kind or a just god willing to make that happen. andrew's laugh tore through him, a sort of wet hack. he laughed and laughed, a dying man's breath.

he entertained the possibility of a new life.

maybe, he'd be a musician, playing blues till the sun came down.

maybe, he'd be a writer, creating characters with hearts of gold and dialogue with witty one-liners.

maybe, he'd be in love? and loved back? or maybe, he was a fool, who hadn't learnt his lesson.

his laughter broke out into a tearless sob and he choked on it. he choked with a wordless emotion and a vast void in his soul that had only grown ever since he first dreamt of a happy ending. turns out a young child and a grown adult have a lot more in common than he initially realised.

life wasn't fair.

it wasn't fair to his starry-eyed young self, who'd not yet seen the filth in the world, but would soon discover the safety in a locked door. nor was it fair to his teen self, who'd found family, in the shape of an abused brother, which was dangled over his head like shiny bait into an even bigger trap.

it wasn't fair now, he'd die in a salty wasteland, left as a rotting corpse at the bottom of the sea.

as his eyes began to droop, he could just about make out a light in the distance.

looks like he found it, after all.

and everything faded to black.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i know nothing about lighthouses aside from light googling of the inside of them. oh and andrew's a teensy bit gay for neil but only a little tho.

the sun shone through the window straight onto his face, waking him up. the smell of bacon and eggs filled through the small room. the sheets felt soft underneath his skin and had the faint scent of lavender remaining.

what the fuck?

andrew made a move to get up quickly, when a sharp pang permeated through his skull.

where was he?

he attempted to get up once again, when his ears began ringing. fuck, that's right. he'd hit his head against the boat.

the boat. he panicked as memories of his journey across the atlantic made their way back into his head. the last thing he remembered was passing out and now he was here, in a small room. he needed to leave as soon as possible.

the door creaked open and a small child peeked their head through. she had auburn hair, bright blue eyes that caught onto andrew's gaze - she looked no older than 5 or 6, he couldn't tell. the ringing in his ears dulled down and he heard her call out to someone else in the house? cabin? 

"dad! the stranger's awake now! dad! dad! come here!" her voice was pitched high and caused for another jolt of pain to go through andrew's head. he heard footsteps approaching and forced himself to sit up properly, so that he wouldn't seem too vulnerable to whomever was about to come.

"mari, don't shout, i can still hear you, i'm not deaf," an accented voice spoke with amusement and then revealed itself to belong to a young man, who had the same vibrant hair and eyes as his daughter, yet had much more scarring on his face. andrew stared at the lines of his face. every part of him spoke of danger but presented a softness, when he looked at his daughter.

the two's eyes met and andrew couldn't look away. he was gorgeous, in a way that would make passersby turn their heads and gawk, andrew being no exception of course.

"um hi? i'm guessing you're probably really confused right now? i'll fill you in on the details, once you've had something to eat. you've been asleep for a day and a half, you must be starving." andrew began to protest, but his stomach growled and his face flushed red. he glared at his stomach, the darned traitor. the man seemed to chuckle and andrew turned his glare on him, when he spotted that in the man's hands was a tray with a plate of eggs, toast and bacon, along with a jug of orange juice. 

as he revealed himself bodily to andrew and set the tray down by the bedside table, andrew realised the man was only a couple inches shorter than himself. 

he nodded a thanks, when mari spoke up, "you're meant to say 'thank you' after somebody does something nice for you." she had her hands on her hips and frowned adorably.

"mari-anne," the man chided and before he could continue to scold her, andrew shook his head and said, "you're right, i'm sorry."

andrew turned to the man, who's eyebrows were raised in surprise, "thank you." his voice was slightly scratchy and ended up breaking at one point, but the redhead just smiled warmly in response.

"you're welcome."

his lips formed an 'o' shape, like he just remembered something, "right, i forgot to tell you, my name is neil. i'm the lighthouse keeper here, if you need anything do give me a shout. in the meantime, i'll be making breakfast here for this troublemaker." he pinched mari's cheeks, making her squeal and lifted her up into his arms.

neil left the room with a, "bye andrew," and mari waving slightly at him from over neil's shoulder. andrew didn't have time to question how neil knew his name, before the door quietly shut - probably done to not make too much noise and cause andrew's head to throb again. 

now that he was alone, he decided to take a better look at the room around him. the bedsheets were a simple white, donned onto a cushioned mattress. the frame itself was a rich umber shade of oakwood, matching the floorboards. the walls were white with few paintings hung up, each with stories that andrew couldn't possibly imagine. the wall, opposite to the bed, was made of glass, if you were to slide open the door, you'd find yourself on the balcony that gave an unobstructed view of the sea and the town nearby.

the rustic feel of the room along with his concussion, made andrew feel like he was in a dream. he decided to eat his breakfast, before it went cold. he took a bite and almost moaned at how good it was. it'd been a while since he'd had a proper breakfast, other than a cup of sugary coffee - he never had any time in the morning to cook up something decent, with his job requiring him to be at the university early, planning his next lectures.

as he finished his food, andrew wondered if this was heaven. the door that lead to the balcony was open and a gust of wind burst through, causing andrew to shiver. he put the tray aside and swung his legs off the bed noticing he was still in the clothes he left in. he lifted the neck of his shirt to his nose and grimaced at the smell of seaweed. gross. he needed a shower, the sooner the better, judging by the state of his appearance.

his head spun, as he stood up to close the door. andrew shrugged it off, his dizziness was the last of his problems.

trudging slowly towards the door, his legs felt like lead pieces detached from his body. another breeze came through the door, that made him sneeze. he felt the urge to take a further peek at the view from the balcony.

well shit.

he stood in awe, gazing up at the rolling clouds that hung over the still water. it all felt so surreal. andrew held onto the railing and looked down to find the end of a cliff. his mind flickered back to lone nights on the fox tower roof and watching countless sunsets, even sunrises if he stayed long enough on sleepless nights. a similar rush of vertigo filled his head, making his feet unsteady. this, along with his concussed head, was not a good mix he realised, as his world turned sideways. andrew braced himself for the eventual fall.

when it didn't come, he blinked in confusion. he found himself in the arms of a very pretty lighthouse keeper and oh god, his face was so close. he felt all the strength drain out of him and his body went lax in neil's arms. andrew continued to stare at neil's face, _he has so many freckles, i think i see orion there, his eyelashes are so long, they're like… spider legs? what no. not spider legs, like.. hair. that's it. his lips are so pink, but move too much. oh they're moving._ andrew realised neil had been talking to him this whole time.

"-ey? andrew! are you okay?" neil's face was scrunched in concern. andrew opened his mouth to assure neil, he was perfectly okay and didn't need neil to worry about him, when a wet hack was the only thing that came out.

"i'm guessing that's a no, you feel really warm. you might have a fever. is it okay, if i check your temperature?" andrew nodded and felt a cold palm touch his forehead.

neil hissed, "jesus, you're burning up, what were you doing out of bed?"

"..closing the door," andrew rasped out.

neil sighed and moved to get up, "come on, hold onto my arm and see if you can get on your feet." getting up onto his legs felt like a herculean task and the moment he got onto his feet, he felt unsteady and stumbled yet again. neil barely managed to catch him in time and andrew ended up going headfirst into neil's chest. 

"woah there, be careful." andrew scowled up at neil's face, unamused.

"hold onto both my arms tightly and let's take it slow, yeah?" neil turned his body, so that he'd end up walking backwards in the direction of the bed. andrew kept his grip light on neil's arms and then tightened them as soon as he thought he might fall. if his grip hurt neil at all, andrew couldn't tell.

after what felt like an hour, andrew finally sat down on the bed and neil grabbed ahold of the tray, ready to take it with him. 

"how did i get here?"

neil looked up and at andrew, he stood silent for a second and sighed, "let me put this away and then i'll explain everything, i also need to drop mari-anne at her aunt dan's, so i'll take some time." with that, he walked off leaving andrew alone.

he laid back onto his pillow and stared at the high ceiling. his exhaustion got the better of him and soon found himself in a deep slumber again.

"-e fell asleep. yes, yes he's fine kevin, all in one piece. he's got a fever and a concussion, the more rest he gets, the quicker he'll recover." andrew's eyes flickered open at the noise that filtered into the room coming from behind the door. 

neil walked into the room, occupied by the phone he held up to his ear, "kevin he's a grown man you don't need me texting updates on-"

he stopped in the middle of his sentence, as neil's eyes landing on andrew, "he's awake now kev, i'll talk to you later."

he didn't wait for kevin to respond before hanging up and taking a stray stool by the window, dragging it by the bed so that he could sit by andrew.

andrew let himself stay lying down, he had a feeling he wouldn't want to be upright anytime soon.

"right, so where do we begin?"

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are very much appreciated, let me know what you thought of this! <3


End file.
